i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
