I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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