does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
