Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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