Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
