did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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