So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
