Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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