thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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