okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm always down for nudity.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
