what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
