I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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