i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
