You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
