after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
