It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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