He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
