community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
