My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
