Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
