it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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