I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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