I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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