Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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