I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
