**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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