plz talk dirty to me
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
