Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
