would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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