Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
