Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I need to calm my uterus...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
