Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
