I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
