What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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