HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
