i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
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She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
