I feel like I'm in dance class right now
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's never too late to be topless.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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