I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
