I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Less talking, more tequila
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
