I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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