so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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