I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
