Me. At least after what I've been through.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
