If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
