I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Sober January is a disaster.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
