yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
