Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
