i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This baby is an asshole
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
