He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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