If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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