Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
