"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
